Ancient
Weddings
by Jennifer
Goodall Powers, SUNY Albany
Original text
© 1997 Jennifer Goodall Powers
Catullus and His
Wedding Songs
Carmen 64:
Foedus Amicitiae
or Servitium Amoris?
As Lesbia was a
non-traditional woman, so too was her relationship with Catullus
non-traditional in that they were never married. They were lovers
only, though Catullus probably thought it was much more than
that. In his poems, for example, Catullus clearly uses language
that describes his love for Lesbia as only a husband would describe
his relationship with his wife. This indicates that although
a new type of woman and new type of love affair were emerging
at this time, there was no new vocabulary for Catullus to use
to verbalize his emotions and attitudes towards his lover.
For instance, Catullus
repeatedly uses foedus to describe their commitment to
each other. In Carmen 87, for example, Catullus believes that
no woman ever felt as much love from a man as Lesbia felt from
him:
nulla
potest mulier tantum se dicere amatam
vere, quantum a me Lesbia amata mea est.
nulla fides ullo fuit umquam foedere tanta,
quanta in amore tuo ex parte reperta mea est.
No woman
can truthfully aver that any
man
ever loved her as I loved you.
No lover bound by pledge of heart
was ever found true on his part as I was true.
He qualifies their
relationship as having a "ullo foedere" (3).
Wiseman elaborates:
His [Catullus']
type of love was the real thing, faithful as if to a contract
signed and sworn. But her [Lesbia's] type was amor as
well, and he was subject to that even when all other feeling
was gone, or changed to hate (odi et amo).
Obviously, the contract
Wiseman, and probably Catullus, refers to here is the marriage
contract signed by the witnesses at the wedding ceremony. In
this situation, however, there was no real wedding ceremony or
marriage contract.
Carmen 109 delves
even deeper into the relationship and each lover's expectations:
iucundum,
mea vita, mihi proponis amorem
hunc nostrum inter nos perpetuumque fore.
di magni, facite ut vere promittere possit,
atque id sincere dicat et ex animo,
ut liceat nobis tota perducere vita
aeternum hoc sanctae foedus amicitiae.
My dear,
you promise that this love we both
feel will be everlastingly contented.
Great gods, make sure that she can prove her oath
and that she spoke the truth and truly meant it,
that we may keep in our time, and beyond
all time, this love's inviolable bond.
Though Lesbia apparently
promised to love Catullus forever, he is exhibiting doubts about
her sincerity. He does not believe that she is serious enough
about the relationship. As an alternative, he offers what he
thinks is acceptable, a "sanctae foedus amicitiae."
Again, Catullus places a value on their love affair in terms
of marital commitment and union.
Catullus again ponders
Lesbia's empty promises in Carmen 70. Apparently Lesbia "dicit"(1,3)
Catullus she would rather marry him than even Jupiter, but Catullus
still has doubts. He then grants that all women say things to
their lovers they probably do not mean. But Catullus did believe
her enough to write a poem about it. Or, more likely, she never
made this sort of promise and he only wishes she had. In his
poetry, Catullus never gives the reader the impression that Lesbia
is as committed to the relationship as Catullus, even though
Catullus repeatedly talks about their future marriage and foedus,
which to him is the same thing.
Carmen 76 highlights
the conflict within himself about ending the affair permanently.
He starts by accepting that he did what he could to make this
relationship successful, with no thanks from Lesbia:
siqua
recordanti benefacta priora voluptas
est homini, cum se cogitat ess pium,
nec sanctum violasse fidem, nec foedere nullo
divum ad fallendos numine abusum homines,
multa parata manent in longa aetate, Catulle,
ex hoc ingrato gaudia amore tibi.
nam quaecumque homines bene cuiquam aut dicere possunt
aut facere, haec a te dictaque factaque sunt.
omnia quae ingratae perierunt credita menti.
quare iam te cur amplius excrucies? (1-10)
If there's
some pleasure, looking back, in feeling
conscious of good deeds done to follow men,
duties performed, promises kept, fair dealing
and no abuse of the name of heaven‹why, then,
Catullus, in the life that lies ahead
you have a huge store of enjoyment banked;
for what a friend can say or do you said
and did to help her‹and were never thanked;
all the good will you lent was lost on her.
Why let the thought torture you any more?
Here especially
is his acknowledgement that he upheld the foedus of the
affair. He continues then with self-encouragement that she is
not worth his effort:
quin
tu animo offirmas atque istinc teque reducis
et dis invitis desnis esse miser?
difficule est longum subito deponere amorem,
difficile est, verum hoc qua lubet efficias:
una salus haec est, hoc est tibi pervincendum,
hoc facias, sive id non pote sive pote. (11-16)
Toughen
your will, be what you once were,
shrug off any misery that the gods abhor.
It's hard to throw aside love of such long
standing; it's hard, yet somehow must be done:
There lies your only hope. Whether you're strong
enough or not, the fight has to be won.
He then begs the
gods to save his life, abandoning his prayers that they change
Lesbia:
o di,
si vestrum est misereri, aut si quibus umquam
extremam iam ipsa in morte tulistis opem,
me miserum aspicite et, si vitam puriter egi,
eripite hanc pestem perniciemque mihi
quae mihi subrepens imos ut torpor in artus
expulit ex omni pectore laetitias.
non iam quaero, contra me ut diligat illa,
aut, quod non potis est, esse pudica velit:
ipse valere opto et taetrum hunc deponere morbum.
o di, reddite mi hoc pro pietate mea. (17-26)
Gods,
if you deal in pity, if you lean
over the dying, easing their last breath,
look on my trouble and, if mine has been
a pure life, rid me of this plague, this death,
which creeping through my limbs makes me all numb
and drives joy out of me. I've ceased to hope
that she'll return my love, still less become
faithful, for that's something beyond her scope.
But, gods, if I have served you, grant my prayer:
Health, and an end to this diseased despair.
Catullus shows his
audience how important his relationship with Lesbia really is:
he needs the gods to help him survive. Furthermore, it again
reinforces Catullus' view of this affair as a foedus that
when violated, will wreck havoc on the couple.
In Carmen 75, Catullus
compares what he and Lesbia have each brought to the relationship:
Lesbia is responsible for the culpa and Catullus for the
officio. Despite this, Catullus can still not give up
this relationship; he still promises "amare"
(4) her. Amare means to love, but in the sense of physical
lust; so he is promising to continue to be her slave in sex,
regardless of what she does. At this point, Catullus knows their
relationship will never reach the level of commitment he had
wanted, but he is also not yet prepared to give it up. Instead
of viewing their relationship as a foedus, he may now
be starting to feel that their relationship is a servitium
amoris.
Catullus' confusion
and pain about Lesbia and their relationship climaxes in Carmen
85. Here again, Catullus still has the physical desire for (amat)
Lesbia. Yet he also feels repulsed by her. The confusion is clear.
The image of pain is explicitly seen when the verbs change from
active to passive and the audience realizes that it is not something
that Catullus has done, but that something has been done to Catullus.
While the demise
of Catullus and Lesbia's relationship due to her lack of commitment
and foedus appears inevitable, Carmen 68b tells a different
story. It is, on the surface, a poem about Catullus waiting for
the arrival of Lesbia at the house of one of his friends where
they are to have a secret rendezvous. On another level, however,
Catullus may want it to seem like a wedding ceremony to his audience
and most likely to himself as well. This inversion of Catullus'
world and reality is seen throughout his description of this
event. Furthermore, the Laodamia-Protesilaus myth in the middle
of the narrative offers a standard of "marriage" for
comparison with Catullus and Lesbia's affair, though again the
inversion is clear.
Catullus awaits
the arrival of Lesbia at the house in agony, like an anxious
groom awaiting the arrival of his new bride and her procession.
When Lesbia does arrive, unlike a new bride, she steps directly
on the threshold:
quo
mea se molli candida diva pede
intulit et trito fulgentem in limine plantam
innixa arguta constituit solea
(70-72)
my white-skinned
goddess, tiptoeing, would put
her bright sole on the smooth-worn threshold, foot
poised on a creaking sandal.
For a bride to step
on the threshold was an inauspicious omen for the Romans, which
is why most grooms carried their brides over it. Here, Catullus
is slyly indicating that this wedding will not result in the
happiness that is usually hoped for by the groom.
After the Laodamia-Protesilaus
myth, the narrative resumes with Lesbia giving Catullus a big
hug. Cupid is also not far behind wearing the "crocina
tunica," saffron robe (134), that probably corresponds
to the flame red veil the Roman bride always wore.
Realizing Lesbia
has not been faithful to him, Catullus forgives her infidelities
just as Juno forgives the infidelities of Jupiter. This does
remind Catullus that this is indeed not a wedding and she is
not his wife. He admits that the "wedding" gifts she
gave him were not truly wedding gifts, since they would have
to have been from her father. Ironically, they are instead stolen
from her husband.
Catullus ends the
poem by again affirming his lifelong dedication to Lesbia. He
admits that he cares more for her and her life than even for
his own life:
et
longe ante omnes mihi quae me carior ipso est,
lux mea, qua viva vivere dulce mihi est. (160-61)
My darling
Lesbia, whose life I treasure
more than my own, for hers gives mine its pleasure.
This and his acceptance
of her infidelities indicate that Catullus does not expect this
relationship to consist of mutual commitment, as was earlier
seen in his desire for foedus amicitiae. Catullus views
the relationship now as servitium amoris. He is her slave
and certainly not her husband.
The Laodamia-Protesilaus
myth (73-130) offers another inverted comparison to the affair
of Catullus and Lesbia. Initially, Catullus compares the arrival
of Laodamia as wife to Lesbia's arrival at Allius' house. This
language of the initial description of Laodamia is so intertwined
with the description of the arrival of Lesbia, it is somewhat
difficult to distinguish whom Catullus is describing. This technique
is probably intentional since he wishes that Lesbia was arriving
as a bride like Laodamia.
Alternatively, did
Catullus choose to compare Lesbia to Laodamia because both women
shared a "flagrans amore" (73)? Is Laodamia
the devoted wife or is she an ardent lover? After all, Catullus
uses lusty language in describing Laodamia: flagrans amore
(73); noctibus in longis (83); avidem saturasset amorem
(83); absorbens amoris (107); tuus altus amor (117);
magnos furores (129). Surely, Catullus sees Lesbia in
both of these roles as well. It is a very complicated relationship
and in this poem, Catullus explores all the roles he and Lesbia
play.
Catullus goes on
to compare himself to Laodamia. For instance, both of them have
mourned the deaths of loved ones in Troy. Catullus then turns
to Laodamia and speaks directly to her, indicating that he understands
her pain and loss and also the love she felt for her husband.
Furthermore, since Laodamia and Protesilaus did not have the
opportunity to consummate their marriage, Catullus can relate
to Laodamia's desire for something that in reality will never
happen.
Catullus does not
openly want a marriage with Lesbia. Instead, he wants to share
his life with her in a new sort of relationship that is invading
late Republican Rome: a life-long love affair. At the same time,
he does not have the vocabulary to express this new attitude
so he is forced to use the traditional language of marriage.
Lesbia, on the other hand, does not want any sort of commitment
to Catullus, which produces the frustration detected in his poetry.
This same frustration will become a characteristic of the poems
of the later elegists. And so while Catullus provides the foundations
for a new type of love affair in poetry and life, he must look
backwards to his poetic guide Sappho for understanding and inspiration.
