Ancient
Weddings
by Jennifer
Goodall Powers, SUNY Albany
Original text
© 1997 Jennifer Goodall Powers
Greek Weddings
The History of Marriage
These types of marriages
were either commonly practiced (or recently made obsolete) around
the fifth century. To understand fifth century practices, it
is necessary to take a step back and review the history of marriage
in Greece, for Sappho, who flourished in the seventh century
B.C., drew on patterns of marriage that were as much mythological
as sociological, or legal, and for whom marriage as an institution
triggered personal responses.
Pandora was the first bride,9
as well as the first woman. Didomi, the word meaning to give,
from which Pandora's name is derived, reflects that the bride
was originally a free gift that came to the groom's home bearing
gifts. Leduc explains the importance of the bride-gift:
The free
gift was, I believe, the organizing principle of the Hellenic
system of legitimate reproduction. From the eighth to the fourth
century B.C. a woman was always given (didomi) to her husband
by another man, and this man always gave other riches (epididomi)
along with her.10
In keeping with
the notion of a bride as a gift, the Homeric bride brought gifts
to her new oikos.11
This arrangement is a daughter-in-law marriage.12 During the "betrothal,"
the son-in-law and father-in-law became etai, allies,
by exchanging gifts in preparation for the bride transfer. The
dora, gifts, were a tangible sign of the alliance between the
two households. This exchange also indicated that the bride's
family was not just selling or rejecting her. The bridewealth
generated by the passive bride, on the other hand, was called
hedna and it usually manifested itself in cattle. This
gift exchange formalized the legitimacy of a marriage and legitimized
the children of the union.
In Homeric epic,
a man could also "marry" a girl by winning her in a
competition or by stealing her as booty. The Greek heroes left
Troy with Trojan women as their "prizes." There was
no "polygamy"; instead, a husband might have a wife
and concubine, as seen frequently in ancient works about the
Homeric heroes. If the wife gave her consent, the children of
the concubine could be appointed as heirs. Yet, society demanded
that a woman be faithful to her husband, begetting legitimate
children.
One compelling motivation
for marriage was the political alliance between noble families
that the marriage would establish. Gradually, however, money
replaced birth as a conduit to political influence, and marriages
were consequently not as necessary for establishing political
alliances.
Occasionally, sexual
attraction would be a reason for marriage, but it was still only
the attraction of the man, leaving the woman's feelings unaccounted
for. Achilles' anger when Briseis was taken away from him indicates
the deep feelings of a man for a woman who was worth fighting
for. Helen acts on her own lust, but her actions are considered
unique and improper by her peers.13
The daily lives
of women during the dom of movement, they were not expected to
mix freely with men. Women out of the house were usually in the
company of other women.14
Women's activities consisted mainly of ensuring the smooth running
of the household, bathing and anointing their husbands, raising
their children, and participating in religious festivals. Women
also contributed economically to their households through textile
production. Vases often depict women weaving, as seen on this
Berlin tondo:
The woman
seated on a chair on the left has one bare foot propped on a
special foot-support. Her chiton and mantle are pulled up above
her knees, so that she can twist the loose wool around her leg
prepatory to spinning it. She holds a thick strand of red wool
in her hands. A basket stands near her ready for the finished
yarn ... On the far right, a second wool basket stands on a cushioned
stool.15
The women were solely
responsible for producing the textiles used by all the household
members.
During the era of
colonization and unsettled times which followed, many of the
characteristics of and motives for marriage, such as political
and economic motives, were inherited from the Homeric age. Sentimentality
and love prevailed too.16
Convenience was a predominant motive; colonists commonly "married"
native women. There was also a movement from bridewealth marriages,
in which the groom paid the bride's father, towards dotal marriages,
in which dowries went to the groom's family. This gave the father
of the bride a personal stake in the marriage: he might be more
discriminating in whom he would select as his daughter's groom
since he would, in effect, be paying this man to take care of
her. If the kyrios picked a whimsical man, the groom might
waste the dowry money. The policy of returning the dowry in the
event of divorce also deterred the husband from divorcing the
woman frivolously. Meanwhile it also set a certain standard of
living for the bride in her new household since her father could
initiate a divorce and thereby reclaim the dowry if he was unhappy
with her arrangement.
Marriage in seventh
century Sparta deserves a mention in this context.17
The role of a woman as reproductive mother was equally as important
as the role of reproductive father and marriage was viewed simply
as a basis for procreation. But procreation was not limited to
married couples. Wife-sharing and selective breeding were common
practices in the Spartans' quest for the production of strong
warriors. Spartan society placed a very high value on physical
strength and bred children for strength. So if a man was not
physically strong, he would most likely not procreate with his
wife and instead would allow a stronger man to impregnate her.
If a man did not father boys or did not have the desired Spartan
qualities himself, the woman was encouraged to seek another man
to impregnate her. Spartan women enjoyed more power and freedom
than other Greek women, as their men were often away training
for military service and responsibilities both within and outside
the household fell to them. Spartan women were allowed out of
the house and were encouraged to exercise and stay strong. This
is in contrast to other Greek communities which limited women's
activities to the domestic sphere only.
Because data from
the Homeric Age and Age of Colonization are sparse, many of the
details about marriage and the status of women discussed in this
study are based on Athenian practices of the fifth and fourth
centuries. The formal guardianship of women, the ages of the
couple at wedding time, the economic and political motivations
for marriage, and the goals of marriage and motherhood for women
are just some of the features we recognize from Athenian marriages.
The development of the Athenian polis from the seventh
century onwards, however, did qualify the role of women. To ensure
the stability, strength, and identity of the developing polis,
the role of child-producing woman rose in importance.18
Footnotes:
9. For
a full explanation of Pandora as the first bride and of marriage
in the Homeric age, see Leduc, Claudine. 1992. "Marriage
in Ancient Greece" in Pauline Schmitt (ed) A History
of Women in the West: Volume I: From Ancient Goddesses to Christian
Saints. Translated by Arthur Goldhammer. Cambridge, MA: 233-295.
Leduc discusses the relevance of offering gifts with the bride
in Homeric times and explores why this ritual was practiced differently
by later societies.
10.
ibid., 235-36.
11.
For a full explanation of marriage in Homeric times (eighth century
B.C.), supra n. 9.
12.
Examples of daughter-in-law marriages abound. Penelope represents
a wife who gave up her own family in order to be incorporated
into her husband¹s family. Nausicaa¹s situation, on
the other hand, if Odysseus had accepted her hand in marriage,
would have resulted in a son-in-law marriage since the husband
would have been incorporated into the household of the bride¹s
father.
13.
There are other women who act on their own desires as well (Medea,
Clytemnestra), yet they too are viewed as improper.
14.
Nausicaa, for instance, accidentally met Odysseus while waiting
at a well, but she did not feel comfortable alone with an unrelated
man. She tells her girl servants "Stay with me!" (Hom.
Od. 6.213) Her biggest fear, though, is being seen entering the
city with an unrelated man by the villagers and makes him follow
after her.
15.
Berlin F2289, vase description, Perseus
2.0, 1996. New Haven.
16.
Periander, tyrant of Corinth in the seventh century B.C., is
said to have fallen in love at the sight of his soon-to-be wife
Melissa (Athenaeus 13, 589F).
17.
Marriage and the status of women in Gortyn have also been examined
as a parallel comparison to Sparta, since Dorian women in general
shared a freedom other Greek women lacked. Leduc, supra n. 9,
also outlines marriage in these two communities.
18.
Male babies were needed to maintain the existing number of families,
especially during the Peloponnesian War.
